Hearts and Soles

For the first time in twenty years, the Dames of the Dance family stood inside one of its projects.

Some of the husbands came too.

Hopefully, the next time the dishes sit in the sink while their wives run off to dance, they'll skip the sigh. They've seen what it's all for.

Last Sunday, more than twenty dancers, choreographers, and supporters gathered at Merkaz Chossen, a therapy center dedicated to healing the emotional wounds of our chayalim and their families. We came to see the Five Senses Therapy Garden - a garden that our dancing helped build. We walked through it together, and I don't think there was a dry eye in the place. Which, considering we were standing in a garden, felt entirely appropriate.

Almost everyone, at some point, has felt the quiet frustration of wanting to make a difference but not knowing where to begin. The need is everywhere. The desire is genuine. But between the impulse and the action, there's a gap that can feel impossible to cross. Where do I start? What do I have to offer?

WHAT CAN I DO?

Dames of the Dance 1

I know that feeling well. Twenty years ago, at the age of 50, I walked into Judy Kizer's tap class as a complete beginner. Not a dancer. Not a choreographer. Just a woman who loved music and thought moving her feet to a beat counted as dancing. (Judy was very patient.)

And somewhere between the shuffles and the ball-changes, a thought took shape: if we love to dance this much, maybe our dancing could do some good in the world. It seemed almost too simple. But simple ideas, powered by heart and determination - and sensible shoes - have a way of surprising you.

Twenty years later, B"H, Dames of the Dance has raised 580,000 shekels for causes across Gush Etzion and beyond - food campaigns, trauma centers, youth at risk programs, lone soldiers, brides from Gush Katif, farms in need, children with special needs, senior citizens' programs, and now a garden dedicated to the healing of our chayalim and their families.

Five hundred and eighty thousand shekels. From a tap class and many other dance classes from Jerusalem, Bet Shemesh, Efrat and Kiryat Arba.

Most of us weren't professionals. We have simply been women of every age - beginners and veterans, young and not-so-young - who decided to take something we love and use it for good. Women who occasionally left the dishes in the sink. Women whose husbands occasionally sighed. Women who danced anyway.

DANCE AT EVERY STAGE

And here is my favorite part of the story: I am now 70 years old. My taps may be a little slower these days, but I am still out there on that stage, doing my very best to hang in there with the yungins. They are kind enough not to mention it.

Because this is what I have learned at every stage of my life - it is never too late to begin, and it is never too late to keep going.

At the Therapy Garden dedication ceremony, I tried to put it simply: Dames of the Dance has
never been just about dancing. It has always been about taking something we love and using it to help others. We do it with music. We do it with friendship. We do it with caring. We do it with our hearts.

And yes ... we do it with our soles.

The lesson of Dames is not "go take a dance class." The lesson is this: you already have what you need. A talent, a passion, a skill, a love - something that makes you come alive. The gap between wanting to help and actually helping is shorter than you think.

You just have to be willing to take the first step.

Even if that step is a tap.

She Hung Up Her Tap Shoes. I’m Still Lacing Mine.

Last year, at 71, my friend Fayge hung up her tap shoes. 

Not dramatically. Not with a final Broadway bow.

Just quietly. After eighteen years of shuffle-ball-change, costume mishaps, and late-night laughter.

When we began dancing at 50 (me) and 52 (Fayge), we were on top of our game. (Yes, really.)

As the years went by, tap became more challenging, but we did our best with a determined smile. And there is a moment we often shared that I treasure most.

After a particularly difficult step - the kind that requires fierce concentration and silent prayer - when we somehow managed to execute it without collapsing into each other, Fayge and I would reach out and squeeze hands. No words. Just that squeeze.

We did it.

That squeeze said: We’re still here.
Still moving.
Still brave enough to try.

WOMEN OF STEEL

But tap is not simple at any age. It demands speed, precision, strong knees, cooperative ankles.

Now Fayge and I have none of those things.

Fayge was diagnosed with Parkinson’s years ago. Yet, she kept dancing. She kept showing up every Tuesday night with lipstick on and her tap shoes laced tight. But last season she decided that the turns and the quick movements – um, tap is mostly turns and quick movements - were asking more than her body could give.

So she chose to stop.

ALONE ON THE DANCE FLOOR

So, here I am. Seventy years old.
In a class of women ranging from 33 to 50 … and then… me.

I have arthritis in my ankle, which makes my shuffles occasionally slur in ways I’d rather not discuss, and hops live only in my mind. My knee, injured two years ago, still negotiates every fast combination. When the choreography calls for “quick and light,” I do my best to remember what that once felt like.

Still, Tuesday night tap is my happy place.

KEEPING MOVING

Fayge may have hung up her tap shoes, but she didn’t hang up her dance costumes. She still performs in “The Walker Dance,” a joyful piece filled with women over sixty who march and sway with more energy than orthopedists would advise. (We dance with walkers, but B"H, they're still props.) Fayge does yoga. She exercises. She shows up for life.

And she still belongs to our tap family.

She keeps in touch. She cheers us on. She lives in our inside jokes. Even without the shoes, she is part of the rhythm.

And me?

Fayge has officially made me the oldest tap dancer in Gush Etzion.

For now, I am choosing to stay. To shuffle imperfectly. To ice my ankle. To stand in a room full of younger women and claim my place anyway.

One day, I too may hang up my shoes.

But not yet.

For now, when the music starts and the floor answers back, I am still reaching for that invisible hand squeeze.

Still here.
Still moving.
Still dancing.

(Photos by our dear friends - Rebecca Kowalsky and Beth Lanin)

 

When the Heart Says 'Yes', and the Body Says 'No'

Our Steps Ahead Tap Troupe on Stage
in "Dames of the Dance 10 - Legacy"

My friend Fayge and I have a nightmare. We talk about it all the time. The nightmare is: no longer being able to tap dance. Yes, it’s true. We’re 62 and 64 and we tap dance. Actually, we live for tap dancing.

Fayge and I on stage in DAMES 1, more than 10 years ago.

We both began tapping ten years ago (really 11). I was just past 50 and she a drop older. Who begins tapping at 50? That’s when tap dancers are retiring. But my doctor told me that I had osteoporosis and dancing would be good for me. So, Ginger Rogers just had to move aside. Two minutes ago, I called Fayge to ask why she started tap dancing. Her answer was simple, “Because you did.”

Wow, I never knew that. Mwa, Fayge, love you!

Well, thanks to our patient talented teacher/ choreographer Judy Kizer, we learned amazing steps and have gotten better and more proficient year by year. We’ve also gotten older. How come no one else in our troupe has aged? Really!

We come to rehearsal with pains in our knees or toes. Fayge has sciatica. I have arthritis. But we keep tapping. And as long as our troupe will have us, we’ll try to keep up.

Our tap troupe, our family, led by choreographer Judy Kizer

Our tap troupe is our family. I think they’re keeping us young to some extent. We feel better when the dozen of us are standing up together. Fayge and I want to succeed because of them. We want to try harder. And when all that fails, Fayge says she smiles, and that’s all that anyone cares about.

By all accounts, dancing is supposed to reduce your blood pressure. That might well be true. I hope it’s strengthening my bones, like my doctor promised. It’s thought to keep your brain sharp, prevent Alzheimer’s and dementia. I hope that’s correct, but when we’re learning a step, I always worry, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I don’t know what’s next!! Help help help.” B”H, somehow when we perform, all the steps and formations come to me (and if they don’t, some dancer that I love pushes or pulls me to the right place).

JE SUIS UNE DANSEUSE

I am a tapper. Tap dancing is what I do. It’s part of my identity. My tap bag is always ready. When I pick it up and rush off to rehearsal, I can’t help but hold back the smile I feel taking over my face. I can’t wait to see my dancing pals. I can’t wait for our group hug. I can’t wait to praise each one for the amazing way she executed a step.

Last year, I injured my knee. I could hardly stand. I lamented to my husband, “Maybe I should quit. What good is a dancer who can’t stand up?” “Never quit,” he said. “Always dance. Never quit.” I actually listened to him, and although I could only stand for ten minutes of our 60-minute class, I kept going. B”H, my knee healed. I’m still making up from a year of injury, but I persevere.

Fayge keeps going too. She kvetches and I krich, but we do it on the dance floor.

Last week, we completed a fabulastic season of dance with the production “Dames of the Dance 10 – Legacy.” The dances were more than spectacular. The dancers more than gorgeous. We even received praise from respected columnist Barbara Sofer: http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Dancing-grandmas-543899

Fayge and I on stage in this year's DAMES.

We danced with uber-talented teenagers, with magnificent ballerinas, sexy belly dancers, exotic Bollywood dancers, energetic hip hoppers. They were all marvelous and duly praised. And what got surprise acclaim by Barbara Sofer and our audience, as well? Our dancing grandmas!
Maybe our grannies gave audience members hope that quality of life, creativity, friendship, fun and achievement continue after 60. Maybe we were just funny. Whatever the reason, we were dancing!

So, when the heart says 'yes', do everything possible for as long as you can to make the body say 'yes' too.

 [Thank you to Rebecca Kowalsky, www.imagesthroughtime.com, for the photos.]

Grandmas on Stage / Grandkids in the Audience - A guest blog by Mimi Katz

Dance -
1. To move one's feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps,
especially to the accompaniment of music

My girls with their performing grandmother

2. To leap, skip, etc., as from excitement or emotion; move nimbly or quickly
What does it mean to dance? The definition in the dictionary is pretty straightforward and clear. But the dancing my girls and I watched this week had so much depth than that.

Auntie Bati, Grandma, Auntie Nava

I took my ten-year-old and six-year-old daughters to watch their aunts and grandmother dance in a very special performance entitled, "Dames of the Dance", an all-female dance performance for women of all ages.
We look forward to this show all year, with its bright colors, creative dances and shining costumes.
The day itself was full of excitement. "Today we are going to see Grandma's show."

Grandma tap dances (at right) with Auntie Bati right in the center

The girls must have asked me twenty times what time we'd be going and in how much time is that. We headed out. My older daughter was worried every time we slowed down for the slightest bit of traffic and the eta on the Waze changed even by a minute. As we got closer to the theater we stopped to buy some snacks, the anticipation barely allowed the girls to eat dinner before we left.
We arrived at the theater and immediately looked for our family. My daughters were so happy, we arrived early. They couldn't wait to see their cousins, aunts and grandmothers. We got our tickets and found our seats. Our family had an entire row. Even their great-grandmothers came to see the performance.

Grandma plays a grandma

This year's show surpassed well beyond all of our expectations - and we have high expectations based on the previous years we've attended "Dames".
The theme of the show this year is legacy. It's "Dames" tenth anniversary - with 100 women volunteering to dance, rehearsing for months, devoting their efforts to a cause. Their goal is to raise money for the needy in their communities. This year they set an additional goal - to contribute to an IDF Lone Soldiers’ Home in Gush Etzion.
Ten years of shows, of creating a group that has become like family. They wish to extend their love to soldiers who don’t have family with them in Israel. Their message is clear - we love you! You do have family in Israel - we are here for you!
My daughters sat in awe watching their grandmother perform with love. She is able to combine the things she cherishes most - charity work, family and friends, and dancing. This is the legacy.

Showbiz kiss

So what does dance mean? Well, to us it represents beauty and expression, awareness and activeness, facilitating change and providing help, movement and progress and most of all love and unity.

"Dames of the Dance" has one more performance, a 5 PM matinee on Monday February 26, geared for the younger crowd. The sports hall of Efrat will be filled with cheering kids in the stands and shuffling mothers, sisters and grandmothers on stage.
[If you're in Greater Jerusalem, tickets: tixwise.co.il/damesofthedance.]

Grandmas on Stage/ Grandkids in the Audience - A Guest Blog by Mimi Katz

Dance -
1. To move one's feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps,
especially to the accompaniment of music

My girls with their performing grandmother

2. To leap, skip, etc., as from excitement or emotion; move nimbly or quickly
What does it mean to dance? The definition in the dictionary is pretty straightforward and clear. But the dancing my girls and I watched this week had so much depth than that.

Auntie Bati, Grandma, Auntie Nava

I took my ten-year-old and six-year-old daughters to watch their aunts and grandmother dance in a very special performance entitled, "Dames of the Dance", an all-female dance performance for women of all ages. We look forward to this show all year, with its bright colors, creative dances and shining costumes.
The day itself was full of excitement. "Today we are going to see Grandma's show."

Grandma tap dances (at right) with Auntie Bati right in the center

The girls must have asked me twenty times what time we'd be going and in how much time is that. We headed out. My older daughter was worried every time we slowed down for the slightest bit of traffic and the eta on the Waze changed even by a minute. As we got closer to the theater we stopped to buy some snacks, the anticipation barely allowed the girls to eat dinner before we left.

Grandma plays a grandma

We arrived at the theater and immediately looked for our family. My daughters were so happy, we arrived early. They couldn't wait to see their cousins, aunts and grandmothers. We got our tickets and found our seats. Our family had an entire row. Even their great-grandmothers came to see the performance.
This year's show surpassed well beyond all of our expectations - and we have high expectations based on the previous years we've attended "Dames".
The theme of the show this year is legacy. It's "Dames" tenth anniversary - with 100 women volunteering to dance, rehearsing for months, devoting their efforts to a cause. Their goal is to raise money for the needy in their communities. This year they set an additional goal - to contribute to an IDF Lone Soldiers’ Home in Gush Etzion.
Ten years of shows, of creating a group that has become like family. They wish to extend their love to soldiers who don’t have family with them in Israel. Their message is clear - we love you! You do have family in Israel - we are here for you!
My daughters sat in awe watching their grandmother perform with love. She is able to combine the things she cherishes most - charity work, family and friends, and dancing. This is the legacy.
So what does dance mean? Well, to us it represents beauty and expression, awareness and activeness, facilitating change and providing help, movement and progress and most of all love and unity.

"Dames of the Dance" has one more performance, a 5 PM matinee on Monday February 26, geared for the younger crowd. The sports hall of Efrat will be filled with cheering kids in the stands and shuffling mothers, sisters and grandmothers on stage.
[If you're in Greater Jerusalem, tickets: tixwise.co.il/damesofthedance.]

Intersecting Circles 1 & 2

I will probably write many blogs that will be called intersecting circles. Isn't that the way life is? We don't just sit at our desk and do our work, baste chicken and cut up potatoes, or attend dance class and twirl with abandon.

Working at our desk, we answer the phone to find that our friend lost her keys and needs a lift. With the chicken in our hands, we look down to see the worrying kid with homework trouble. As we pirouette across the dance floor, we get an emergency call from the babysitter.
Different circles of our lives intersect with other circles - work, home, culture, fun.
So, today while writing one show, rehearsals are underway for another. In my world, they're even often at the same location.

This morning, after a Rhythm and Romp dance rehearsal for DAMES of the DANCE 10 - LEGACY, I was back to work on rewrites of my new musical production "HIDDEN - The Secret Jews of Spain" with my co-author Avital Macales. We reviewed dialogue and hummed each tune as it popped up in the script, but the strains of Indian music kept mixing in with our Spanish songs. Interesting blend, but not exactly right for either production.

The toasty-warm kitchen smelled like Ashkenazi Shabbat as Avital and I traveled back in time to seventeenth-century Madrid to further explore our hero's dilemma. The living room was freezing, but Bollywood co-choreographers Bati Katz and Shifra A-C Penkower were sweating as they seemed to be in an intense workout of the upbeat high-energy jumping and bouncing that characterize Bollywood dance.
This is the first year that Bollywood will be part of DAMES, but this year's theme of Legacy makes the style perfect for our show. A legacy of the Jewish people and a dream have been to welcome our brethren from the four corners of the earth. Many Indian Jews, Bnei Menashe, have made their way to nearby Kiryat Arba with the help of the Shavei Israel organization. We also hope they'll make their way to our stage.
So, our circles collided and filled the house with creativity.

A perfect morning.