CHASING THOSE ELUSIVE 10,000 STEPS

It’s 10:22 PM. My pedometer says 7,089 steps.

That’s AMAZING for me. Amazing!

Truthfully, some days it says 4,052. But tonight I’m sitting here, looking at that number and thinking, “Should I walk up and down the hallway a few more times? Maybe I can get another 500 steps in before bedtime.”

Really? Will it make a difference? All those health articles tell us seniors that we should walk. It’s good for our blood pressure, our sugar, our weight, our hearts, and just about everything else that keeps us ticking.

Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed a difference yet, but I’ve only been chasing steps for about a month. Perhaps I need to give it a little more time.

I remember when I first got my pedometer. I thought it was broken. At the end of a very long day, I looked at the little screen. It read 459. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY-NINE!

I told my husband, “This pedometer must be broken. It says 459 steps, and it’s supposed to say something like 10,000!” He patiently explained, “You can only rack up steps by walking. Working on the computer doesn’t add any steps to your pedometer.”

A GIANT EPIPHANY!

Apparently, sitting at the computer writing, researching, answering emails, and generally keeping the world turning doesn’t count as exercise. Who knew?

So I began taking this business seriously.

I put on my pedometer the moment I woke up. I wore it to the store. I wore it to the living room, where I walked back and forth three times before picking up plastic cups from the corner cabinet. I wore it to the park with my grandchildren.

There, I watched them play while I sat on a park bench. The grandchildren got plenty of exercise. I got plenty of nachas. My pedometer got almost nothing.

I even wore it to tap dancing.

DID YOU KNOW THAT AN HOUR OF TAP DANCING ADDS ONLY ABOUT 800 STEPS? EIGHT HUNDRED!

How can that be? All that shuffling, flapping, clicking, concentrating, and trying not to fall over, and I only get 800 steps?

Turns out, a good tap class involves a lot of watching and learning before the taps get going. That’s what makes us good, but it doesn’t do much for the step count. I think my pedometer needs to take a tap class.

ONLINE WALKING

My sister suggested online walking videos and recommended Leslie Sansone. I love her! Her videos are about six years old, so technically she’s been encouraging me from the past. And does she encourage! “Great job! You’re doing it!” Nobody in my house says that. I would do the whole video just for the compliments.

Then I discovered Get Fit with Rick, who films his walking sessions on a pier in Dubai. Rick has the sea behind him. I have the linen closet behind me. (That’s the closest I’ll ever get to Dubai!)

Both promise to add about 2,000 steps to your day. Except my pedometer registered about 490.

EXCUSE ME? Where did the other 1,510 steps go? Did they get lost somewhere between Leslie’s space and mine?

I decided that perhaps I needed something a little more entertaining. I took down the skirts and tops that had been hanging on my treadmill (yes, my treadmill had become a very expensive clothes hanger) and started walking there, too.

And that’s when I made an amazing discovery.

If I walked while watching Columbo, I could rack up about 4,000 steps. Murder, She Wrote got me about 4,900. And a movie musical? MORE THAN 5,000!

Now we’re talking!

I’m beginning to think that the secret to good health is not necessarily a personal trainer. It’s finding the right television program.

And then there was THE DAY.

I honestly don’t think I will EVER get to 10,000 steps. I don’t think it’s physically possible for me. But ONE TIME, I thought I alllllllllmost made it. I looked at my pedometer and nearly jumped with joy. (I’m still trying to learn to jump.)

It said 9,519! NINE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETEEN!

I immediately WhatsApped a picture to the kids. “Great job, Ema!” “Hooray, Savta!” “Go, Savta!”

The family was cheering me on! I sat there gazing at my pedometer, almost with tears in my eyes. I was practically Rocky Balboa at the top of the Philadelphia steps, arms in the air, waiting for the crowd to go wild.

And then... I realized something.

THE PEDOMETER WAS UPSIDE DOWN.

It didn’t say 9,519. It said 6,156. SIX THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SIX.

Okay, that’s nothing to sneeze at. But somehow, it wasn’t quite the Olympic achievement I had imagined. I did not correct the family group chat. I just kept it in my heart. And for a few glorious moments, I was Rocky Balboa.

I still have one question. Why is it that after an entire day of running around, I can find myself at 10:22 PM wondering whether I should march up and down the hallway a few more times?

So tonight, I actually did. I walked up and down the bedroom hallway a few times and added another 125 steps. I am now the proud owner of 7,214 steps.

I don’t know if I’ve lowered my blood pressure, improved my sugar, or lost an ounce. But I have certainly learned that getting 10,000 steps is not as easy as those articles make it sound.

Tomorrow, IY"H, I’ll put on my pedometer again. Maybe I’ll watch a musical.

And if you happen to see a woman marching up and down her hallway at 10:30 at night, don’t worry. She’s not lost. She’s just trying to get her steps in.